Monday, September 22, 2003


I need help! I need a pep talk, a kick in the rear, a nude photo of myself...something to get me motivated again.

I am still doing well on the exercising but cancelling it out with bad eating. I *know* what to do and I still try to rationalize the snacking.

Okay, calm down....deep breath here. Let's look at things. I have some stress in my life but who doesn't? I can get things under control and as they do, I will settle down again and go back to eating better.

I guess I need to back up and start baby stepping again here. Sooo...tomorrow, let's start something simple. Drink my water and no snacking between breakfast and lunch...or I should clarify: breakfast is not eating a hand of chips while making school lunches, finishing off a piece of toast and having a swig of Diet Coke. I *WILL* eat an actual breakfast, that falls within my plan.

I did scale today....nothing has changed but after reading my entry, you see WHY I am stagnating. C'mon ladies, I need to see some encouraging words here so I can print them out and tape them on the cookie cabinet!!

Monday, September 15, 2003


Yep, that is me, I am taking the chicken route out today and I did not get up on the scale. I know that I have totally blown eating the way I should the past week and rather than get depressed, I just skipped it totally today. That is the chicken route, excuse me while I go scratch in the dirt.

Now, having hidden the scale this morning so I didn't have to look at it, I did go out and rollerblade this evening. It has literally been years since I went out on the rollerblades and it is so much fun! I did about 3 miles at a nice pace. There was an older gentleman on a bike, riding the same route I was doing. He said he would like to try roller blades sometime.

Right now, my exercise plan is going to be 3 nights running/walk, a night of biking, a night of roller blading and walk only on the weekend. I may even break out my Tae Bo tapes and do that in the mornings....depends on how the kids are and if they allow me to do it without melting down while I am plotting to smack the Tae Bo guy when he lies and says "5 MORE!" but then does 10 more.

Tomorrow is a Nashville day so I am bringing my huge mug 'o water with me.

Saturday, September 13, 2003

Still Here!

I can't believe I have not updated in a week. Not to worry, I have not given up, I was just side tracked a bit this week.

I did go out and walk several times and did 1 run/walk. My excerise is not what needs the work, it is eating. It is easy to say I need to stick to the plan and not so easy to actually stick to it. Knowing and doing are not always going hand in hand.

This week was crazy since my one dude was readmitted to the hospital from Tuesday until Friday. He is home now and I am hoping he STAYS home. With him 50 miles away, it does not lend itself to exercise as much as I would like but I did do it.

My knee seems to be completely better. It didn't bother me at all when I went running the one night. Now that the weather is cooler, I am thinking of adding a night of roller blading to my workout regime. I love to rollerblade and have not done so since before Iain was born. I am also considering breaking out my Tae-Bo tapes, I know they are a work out but they are fun.

How are things going with all of you?

Monday, September 08, 2003


My rear end is still protesting the biking. I got on the scale this morning and while I was not thrilled to see it had not dropped down, I was pleased that the needle had not gone up. I did really, really horrible last week and I am surprised I had not gained.

Knowing and doing are not the same thing and I need to get motivated to DO rather than know I need to but put it off. I need to drink my water, I need to follow a meal plan rather than snacking here and there. I need to get out and exercise. I did go 4 miles on the bike yesterday and went faster than I had the previous time, that is a plus.

My husband thinks I should ride in the neighborhood, along my walking/running route but he is nuts. I almost have an attack RUNNING up some of these hills in the neighborhood, there is no way I am going to attempt to bike it ....yet!

I really appreciate the encouraging emails some of you have sent me. It really, really does help me out to know that I have folks who are either in the same situation or who are pulling for me to get this done. Keep checking in with me!

Saturday, September 06, 2003

Not So Easy

I really thought that when I was not running between home and Nashville on a daily basis that it would be easier to eat right. Bwahahahaha...was I WRONG! It was actually easier to stick with it when I was in a hospital room, not in the house where temptation is but a few feet away in the kitchen.

I did go out and did a 2.5 mile walk yesterday evening. I had let my knee rest for several days and it felt much better. I was tempted to go ahead and run but I contained myself to walking. It was a good thing because while it felt fine during the walk, after I got back, it hurt. It was nothing like it was last week and I think it is much better.

Today I drove to my starting point on a nice, back country road and did 4 miles on the bike. Geeze o pete! My rear end is sooore! If you have not ridden a bike in ages and then do several miles, let me tell you that your butt will let you know about it. It gives me a whole new respect to those who do competition biking. It was a beautiful day out, not too warm and a slight breeze. I rode by corn fields, soybeans and a bunch of cows. I was proud of the fact that although my legs burned, I did not walk up any of the hills. The hills around here are not steep but they are long.

I need to work harder on eating better and drinking more water. Have a great evening!

Wednesday, September 03, 2003

Feeling Like A Slug

Between my knee and the rain we have been having, I feel like a slug. Monday, I did go out and do almost 5 miles on the bike. Even though there was a nice breeze, it was warmer than it looked and dumbo forgot to bring water. I felt horrible by the time I was done so next time, I will remember to bring some water!

No more red added to the fat-ometer but none taken away either...which translates to my weight stayed the same from last week. I know it was a combination of not being able to get out the way I wanted AND not eating the way I know I should be.

I have rested my knee for 2 days, no walking or running or biking to see if that helps. I am not having to pop motrin like I was a few days ago. Since I had this same problem after the birth of my daughter in March, I am thinking it may go away on its own but I am sure walking/running is not helping. I really dislike going to see a doctor but need to just go make the appointment so I can get back on track.

Regardless of weather or knee, I am going to go out walking tomorrow, at the very least. Thanks for continuing to read and encourage me in this saga.

Sunday, August 31, 2003


It does seem to help if I take some Motrin, not enough to run but certainly enough to walk briskly. Since this is not getting any better (or any worse), I think I am forced to make an appointment to have this silly knee looked at. I entertained the idea of biking (which I actually want to start doing as well) but I never made it over the weekend.

I did go out for my brisk 2 miles this evening but I never thought I would say I would have preferred to run. I have a treadmill but darn it, it just really hurts to run right now.

Tomorrow is a weigh in day, I would like to see some more red over on the fat-ometer.

Friday, August 29, 2003

Darn it!

My knee has not gotten any better despite me trying to give it a rest yesterday. I did go out and as soon as I finished my brisk 5 minute walk, my knee complained loudly and steadily until I stopped running. I came home after walking and took some Motrin to see if that helps it out. I plan to give it until Tuesday (since everything is closed on Monday) to see if it improves before I get an appointment.

I don't want to do anything to injure my knee and it really kinda irks me that it is curtailing my walking/running. Much as I don't like to do it, I guess I want my NOT doing it on my own terms. Am I contrary or what?

I guess I can get out my bike and ride, that is supposed to be easier on the knees. Now that my boy is no longer in the hospital, I could do that. We will see how things look tomorrow. The route I am considering is about 4-5 miles long.

::::sigh:::: I gotta get through this and keep going!

Wednesday, August 27, 2003


I don't know what is going on but something is going on with my left knee. It doesn't really bother me except when I walk and when I run :::grin::: It did this shortly after I had Kierynn in March so I suspect it may be a loose that possible? I know I did not twist, bump, fall or otherwise injure it that I can recall.

Despite the knee giving me problems, I did my 3 miles this evening without the dogs. It was awful and I know I saw some slugs passing me on the uphill but I kept at it.

Someone please tell me that this gets easier. Right? RIGHT??!!

Ugh, I just can't think of much to say right now, I am bushed.

Tuesday, August 26, 2003

Junk, Junk, Junk

I hate to admit it but that is basically all I ate today. I could go into a long litany of reasons and circumstances that brought it about but in the end, it comes down to excuses and choices. I had the excuses and made my choice.

I don't necessarily think it is a horrible thing, to have one crummy eating day every now and again. I could have taken the time to eat better but took the easy way out today. I don't plan for it to be a habit but I also don't think it puts me back to square one. It shows that yep, I still make bad choices sometimes but I have to continue to look forward and get past it. Next time I am faced with similar choices, I need to make a better choice than I did this time. I know I will have other days in the future where I will be not as committed to my plan but I am okay with that.

I did go out walking this evening. I swear, I make better time doing my route when I am walking than when I run. How pathetic is that? I keep saying I want the distance rather than the time right now. Repeat after me, I want the distance not the time right now. I need to discipline myself to go the distance and then I can work on running faster than a slug.

I also came to the conclusion that I can't take the dogs and kids both when I run. Tonight I was just walking and my 10 year old decided he wanted to walk Dawson, my boy dog. Yeah, sure he long as he didn't see a toad. Every time my son saw a toad, I am having a leash tossed at me. Dawson also wants to stop at every fair game spot he can. Add in there that when I have the kids and dogs with me, I make the kids stop and the dogs sit when a car wants to pass us. This works out alright for walking but seriously cuts into running. That is it! I am not running slower than a slug really, it is from stopping for traffic. Too bad I know better :::sigh:::: says something, I suppose, that I continue to go out and make my pathetic run when I do. Tomorrow, I really need DH to take some before pictures of me.

Tomorrow is a running night, the longer distance running....a whole 90 seconds at a shot but hey, it is building up slowly and gradually. I guess now I need to work on specific body areas. 8 pregnancies have not been kind to my midsection. Anyone got recommendations??

Monday, August 25, 2003

Down Again!

If you look over to the left, you will have noticed that the red in my fat-o-meter has gone up. I was so pleased when I got on the scale this morning and saw another 1.5 lbs has gone away. That makes a total of 7 lbs.

You would think that two weeks in that exercise would be getting easier. Oh, physically it is getting easier. I am not as easily out of breath and am doing a 3 mile route, alternating the run/walk program. The real challenge to exercise is the mental aspect. I just don't like getting out and sweating. I do feel better when I make myself get out there and do it but I hate the sweaty feeling that comes with running.

Tomorrow is the time I start the week 2 of the running program. It is: a brisk 5 minute warm up walk, followed by 90 seconds of jogging and 2 minutes of walking for 20 minutes. I am more interested in the distance right now than time. I also decided, as my knee began to ache while I was running...sweat dripping into my eyes and 200 lbs of dog trying to trip me while a 6 yr old was yelling for me to come look at the toad she found..... that I am going to also alternate my running nights with walking nights. I know the guidelines say 20 minutes a week, 3 times a week is recommended but I know me. If I don't get out there every single night, it will be too easy to slack off. So it will be run days are Mon-Wed-Fri and walk days are the rest of the week. Eventually I will switch it where I run 4 times a week, walk 3 but I don't want to be too hasty rushing into things.

I had a patmyselfontheback kind of moment today. You know, it is so easy to take the easy route and not quite so easy to take the correct route in some things. I was out running (not literally..from behind the steering wheel) errands today and it ran close to lunch time. Iain got some chicken fingers from Burger King and I got NOTHING! I just got his little meal and went home to my sliced cantelope (which I actually do like). That may seem like a small thing but it is so much easier to just grab a burger than to go home and make something. I did sneak TWO fries though :)

Bad habits are hard to break and easy to fix or fast foods is a prime culprit here lately. It is so easy to grab a burger to eat on the way home from being in Nashville, or to run down to the cafeteria there for something quick than to take the time to make, pack and cart something with me. It looks like my little dude will be released this week and I am hoping to do better at sticking to my meal plan when he is back home.

How was YOUR week? Drink water, exercise and eat is working for me so far.

Sunday, August 24, 2003

My Legs

My legs are certainly protesting this evening. We took the fat dogs with us again this evening and even my girl dog, Daria, was dragging by the time we were done. It is kinda ironic since it was actually cooler than it has been in some time and the humidity was lower too. My boy dog, Dawson, was still charging ahead though. I don't think they appreciate that I am bringing them along AND reducing their food a little bit.

Tomorrow is yet another weigh in, officially #2. I know I did well on exercise this week, did so-so on my water and not as well as I could have and should have done on my meals. When rushed, it is too easy to fall back into bad eating habits. School is starting for my kiddos and when I make their lunches at night, I will make mine as well.

I can tell you a successful eating habit though. I have taken leftovers, that normally I would have eaten in one sitting and stretched it to 3. Rather than snarf it down straight, I have cut meat and made it into sandwiches or an entire extra meal out of it. That should count for something but alas, you can't reason with a scale.

My goals for the upcoming week are simple and definately do-able. Exercise more, drink more water and eat less....sounds pretty simple. We shall see....

Saturday, August 23, 2003

Fat Dogs

I decided that my dogs (literally, no my feet) stank and needed a bath today. While I was giving them a bath, I realized that I have fat dogs too! My dogs are big, they should ideally weigh between 85-90 lbs and I bet each of them is currently over 100 lbs. Eeek! Guess who gets to join me when I go out in the evening now. I used to keep the dogs in very good shape since I was competing in obedience with them but a few babies and a sick child put them on the sidelines.

They were so excited to see me get their halters out and snap them together for a walk. Dawson, my boy, remembered his manners and only once did he lift his leg on a place he should not (I don't let him on mailboxes, flowerbeds etc...telephone poles and empty fields are fair game though). By the end of our 2 miles, he was ready to be home and get his water.

I missed walking/running last night so I made it a point to get out this evening. Everyone came along except the birds and hamster. The nasty storms we had last night cooled the temperature off but the humidity was still high.

Didn't drink enough water again, I drank more than I would have normally but not as much as I should. Did that make sense?

Day after tomorrow is another W day...eek! As long as I have not GAINED, I will be okay. I would like to see continual loss but no gain is good too. See ya later!

Friday, August 22, 2003

Rain, Rain!

Ugh, nasty storm came through this evening and I missed out on my evening run :( If I can bring myself to do it tomorrow, I will do my route twice...just not right in a row. Perhaps once in the morning and once in the evening.

Other than that, not much today except that I royally stank today at drinking water. I really need to bring my freaking huge mug with me when I am down in Nashville for the day.

Thursday, August 21, 2003

Bad Find!

Ohh, I found a really bad find today. I have known for some time that on top of my fridge, right where I put it back in April, was a bag of Milky Way Carmel candies, individually wrapped. Basically, it is a tiny Milky Way. I got the basket down to get something else out of there for the kids and found FOUR bags of those little Milky Ways. Nooooo....... It is going to take some serious will power to ignore them again.

I did the ultimate test today, I took DH with me out on my run. He was nice enough today to pick me up a reflective belt so when I am running, I can be seen. I wear a black shirt running and even though there are lights in the neighborhood, I feel better having that one. I don't wear it as a belt, I wear it over one shoulder. So anyway, I asked if he wanted to come along with me this evening. He agreed so everyone went, much to the dismay of my 9 year old. It was about 90 outside with really high humidity and just flat out miserable. After the run, he said he was impressed. I ran faster than he was anticipating me running. :P

On a good note, my 9 yr old complained the entire time we were out and said he was beat. The 10 yr old who has been with me every evening told my DH that I go too far. I did the milage test today on my newer route and it is 3 miles. Now I have a 2 mile and a 3 mile route. Once I get up to the distance, I will work on time.

I got a flyer in the mail today for a 5 mile walk in October down in Nashville...I may attempt to run part of it and walk part of it. I looked at the calender and the 9 week running program means that I would be nearing the goal of 3 miles at about that time.

Off to drink some more water and fold diapers before heading out for the evening. Keep up the good work!!

Wednesday, August 20, 2003


I am beat, I did run tonight and actually went further. I will provide details in the morning since I want to go sleep. I just wanted a place holder so no one thought I was slacking off!

Okay, so now it is tomorrow and I can go into some more details. As some of you know and some of you don't, I currently have a 7 year old who is inpatient down at Vanderbilt Children's Hospital. He has been there since early July and we hope he can come home fairly soon. Normally my husband and I switch off who is with the other kids and who is with Devin while our 21 yr old spends the night with him. Wednesday, DH had to be at work so I had the 5 other kids down with me at the hospital. Trying to keep 6 kids under the age of 10 occupied and quiet in a hospital room is just not a fun task...more so when you have an incredibly active 2 year old in the mix. Be that as it may, we made it through the day but the end result was that I was worn out!

I failed miserably during the day to get my water drank but did drink almost my amount after my run. Not right away, of course, but over the course of a few hours. I also did add to my route and today will be driving it to get an exact milage.

I bring my 6 yr old and 10 yr old with me (their choice) when I go out running and it does this fat heart good to see that THEY are getting tired, it is not just the out of shape one, while we are out. I think it is the distance for them more than the speed. I also noticed if I am not careful, my stride gets lazy towards the end of the route. Lazy in the fact that I don't pick my feet up and I get the shuffle going. Bad me, I need to work on that.

So I would consider today not a good day but not necessarily a bad one. Just one that I should not have very often

Tuesday, August 19, 2003


Excuse me while I drop into a quivering mass of goo... I did it! I actually ran this evening. Granted, I didn't run far or fast and probably looked incredibly pathetic but at least I didn't give up.

I went out on my two mile route with my 10 yr old and my 6 yr old. We started with a brisk 5 min walk and then alternated between 1 minute of running and 90 seconds of walking. It sounded simple enough. Ha! I am glad for the week I did of beginning walking. I think had I tried to go literally from computer chair to running, I would have been really discouraged. I am going to ignore the fact that by the end of my route, while I was running, my 6 yr old was briskly walking to keep up with me. I will get better, I know I will. Then I can leave her little braided pigtails in the dust ;)

I know I did good on my water today since I am on my second wonky huge mug 'o water. While I am typing this, I am enjoying a small bowl of 94% fat free butter popcorn. I looked and 3 cups were only 15 calories (not that I am actually counting calories) and it is a free food for me! I had maybe 1 1/2 cups.

Rather than saying "oh, I can't eat that!", I have found it easier to have it if I want it (and it fits in my plan) but have a smaller portion. If I really am craving M&M's, I get a bag, take a few and then split the rest between the available kids. No kids around and I won't get the bag because I KNOW I would eat the whole bag. When I say bag, I am talking the single little bag, not the 1 lb bag.

I initially said it takes 21 days to make something a habit. I thought about brushing off running/walking once a week but the kids, dh and my inner nag had me out doing it anyway.

No one has checked in for a few days. I would love to hear how those of you following me or attempting this along with me are doing. Off to drink water, take a shower and SLEEP! Tomorrow is a day in Nashville with all 6 kids...eek!

Monday, August 18, 2003

A Good Start

It was with great trepidation that I took down the scale this morning, tapped the side and stepped bravely forth. I heard the beep that signalled that my weight was now recorded for the world (or at least me) to see. I cracked open and eye to sneak a peek. Then both eyes popped showed almost a 6 lb loss! Not trusting the brand new digital scale we got last weekend, I dashed upstairs to drag out the handy, dandy old scale. No mistake, it showed almost a 6 lbs loss as well (5.5lbs to be exact). @@ <--eyes popping! Now, there is a discrepency between the weights on the two scales but the loss registered on both and since my inital weigh in was on the old scale, that is the one I am using for official weigh ins.

I had not really started my plan last week but I did baby step towards it. I drank the water, I walked and I cut down portions of what I ate. Apparently it worked! Now I know that this trend won't continue and I am going to have to put forth some work to keep the downward spiral going...which is where you guys come cheering section!

I am currently in Nashville and will get home later than I normally do. I still plan to do my walk and if I can get the two smaller kiddies to sleep, I may implement my running program this evening. It is raining here in Nashville but is not raining at home at the moment. I would not mind the cooler temp if I decide to run.

I am still just so tickled that I lost some weight so easily. I updated my thermometer over on the left, I will add the date and official weight there later this eveing. Hope everyone else had a positive first week!

Sunday, August 17, 2003

One Week Later

I am now one week later from when I started this insane quest. Do I question my decision? You betcha, this is work...a four letter word. Who wants to work? We want to continue in our comfortable, chocolate loving world where we can ignore the fact we weigh too much by promising that "tomorrow" we will do better. Since the days of illusion, at least for this fat lady, are over....I have to continue on and drink my water.

After a week, how do things stack up? Well, I have inspired several people....lets keep that momentum going forward! Even my husband is interested but not really willing to trim portion sizes. Last night we went out to eat. I ordered a 6 oz steak, he ordered a 12 oz steak. My steak was cut in half and I only ate half (that is the 3 meats I am allowed at dinner). I also got the steamed veggies and ate them. I did eat some fried mushrooms but limited myself to 4. The other half of my steak came home and became a steak sandwich for lunch. I am telling you this only because he says he wants to lose weight but then ate 12 oz of steak (4 servings!), a baked potato and coleslaw. Don't get me wrong, I can pack away steak like the next person (duh, look at my weight!) but I found I WAS NOT hungry after eating my meager 3 oz of steak.

I have been walking at least 2 miles once a day, some days more than once. Somedays I go a little further than 2 miles. Tonight I actually jogged for about 60 seconds to demonstrate to DH (dear husband) how fast I planned to run once I start my running program.

I have been drinking at least 64 oz of water daily. I had no soda at all today. Go me!

Overall, I am pleased with the week and tomorrow is the day of truth...when I step back on the scale. And tomorrow is my official start day too.

On one of my myriad of email lists, we have sewing challenges. We post what we want to sew or need to sew and ask for fellow seamstresses to sew along with us. Who is up for this losing weight challenge? (Although sewing challenges are more fun)

Saturday, August 16, 2003


Why does it seem like this is so much harder to do on the weekends? It really isn't any different than any other day of the week, is it? I discovered I am a natural born snacker on the weekend.

I don't go stand in front of the cupboard looking for something but I grab a handful of cereal while fixing the kids breakfast, eat a cookie while fixing lunch, eat a cookie while putting them away...that kind of snacking. The kind of snacking that seems relatively harmless until you add them up.

Which is a nice lead in to...keep a food journal. It is an eye opener on exactly WHAT you actually do eat. People have such a way of fooling themselves, don't we? This cookie is okay, it is just one. This chip is okay, I was going to throw it out anyway. Geeze, that PBJ will be wasted if I throw it away, he didn't want it, I may as well eat it. See how those little things add up? Keep a journal for 3 days and you will see a trend in your eating habits. If you really want to see where your problem times are (mine at are night, after kids are in bed), then jot down the times you are eating as well. Smaller meals through the day are acutally better than big meals less frequently.

Go me, I went walking again this evening with 4 of the kids (I have 8 for those curious). I am lucky enough to live in a neighborhood that I can vary my walking route for about a week before I repeat a route. I also drank all of my 64oz of water...guess I should add a second one and float instead of walk each evening?

"Deserving" things

One of the ladies who inspired me to start this blog, posted the following for those of us on that board. She got it from a friend who found it somewhere on the net. I really liked it and thought maybe you who joined me on this stinking quest would enjoy it as well.

I had lunch yesterday with a friend who told me as we sat down that she was in the mood for something "really decadent." "I walked two miles today," she said with satisfaction as a giant slab of cheesecake arrived at the table. "I earned it."

Since I make a point of not discussing calories while I'm eating, I didn't tell her that those two miles burned only a fraction of the calories on her plate. I was more interested in her feeling of having "earned it." It got me thinking about our ways of negotiating with ourselves.

Here, I realized, was a creative new way of rationalizing bad choices: by deserving them!

It works like this: I make a contract with myself to live a healthier life, but I write in a big loophole: the Entitlement Clause. The Entitlement Clause is my compensation for all the supposed "hardships" of a healthy lifestyle. It states that if I take a stepping class, I get a slice of pie. If I walk up the stairs to work, I've earned a doughnut. If I play tennis on the weekend, I'm entitled to two margaritas and a plate of nachos afterwards.

Now, don't get me wrong. I know it's not realistic to expect to make healthy choices 100 percent of the time. Life without dessert? I don't think so! The problem is that the Entitlement Clause gets us thinking that healthy choices are somehow unfair -- an injustice for which we deserve restitution.

After doing a few good, wholesome things for our body, we're ready to bust out like sailors on shore leave, eager to escape the weight of all that discipline.

Let's think about this. Wouldn't it be silly to feel "entitled" to skip other healthy practices? My dentist is always after me to floss, and because I know how important it is, I try to do it every night. If I miss a night for some reason, I simply notice my oversight and resolve to do it the next day. But I've certainly never viewed skipping it as my right!

And what if we carried this righteous attitude into other areas? I'm usually a good driver, so that entitles me to run a few red lights now and then? Or, I've been married for 20 years, so I'm entitled to cheat on my husband?

Of course not. Those are situations in which the wrong choice can ruin your life. And I realize that the consequences of overeating are minor by comparison. But in lifestyle issues, the problem is not the various behaviors themselves but the patterns of behavior. As Charles Dickens points out in David Copperfield, "Trifles make the sum of life." The damage from seemingly trivial lifestyle choices becomes apparent as they become habitual.

When you make a habit of rewarding a bike ride with bagels and cream cheese, it becomes all too easy to cancel out your good work and halt all progress. Then what happens? You get discouraged. You abandon your efforts altogether.

Whenever we start to see our good health as a sort of line of credit to draw against, we're in danger of "entitling" ourselves right back to square one.

Now, there is a way to keep your health on the credit side of the ledger without feeling deprived. I'm a big believer in the 80/20 rule. Allow yourself enough of the things you enjoy that you won't feel the need to binge. Think of it as an allowance, not a right. And rather than viewing your life as a struggle between good and bad impulses, try to simply recognize and balance all your sources of pleasure. Focus not just on your enjoyment of food, but also on the enjoyment you get from feeling fit and having more energy to play. Entitlement? Why not concentrate on the things your healthy lifestyle really entitles you to? Things like feeling great, looking your best and enjoying the highest possible quality of life?

Maybe entitlement thinking is a necessary phase. Maybe it's how we talk ourselves into accepting new habits. That's fine, but I think there comes a time to own the new habits. Your healthy choices are your allies, not your foes, so get on board with them and enjoy the ride.

Wow. Doesn't that just sum up how this makes you think? Go drink some water :)

Friday, August 15, 2003

Bad Habits Need to Stop!

Owww sums up today. Walking almost 4 miles yesterday, broken into two walks, seemed like a good idea. Try telling my shins and calves that today though. They were protesting. I ignored them and did another 2 miles this evening. It went much faster without me pushing a double stroller and 40 lbs of kids in it.

Bad habits sure come out in force when you are trying to change. It seems as if things conspire to keep you from your goals (and you are your own worse enemy in that case!). I am in the habit of going into the store prior to my dash to Nashville in the mornings. I usually cruise by the bakery, grab a donut and munch it, along with a diet coke, on the drive. Breakfast of coke and a donut...NOT!! So I broke, got the donut, licked the chocolate from my fingers and felt bad. Did I feel bad enough to keep from buying it...obviously not! Moral of the story...stay away from bakery!

Since I was in Nashville, I didn't do as well on my water drinking but did get a big ole cup of crushed ice to munch on. I want a crushed ice machine like the hospital has. I love that kind of ice. Yes, I am an ice chewer.

My walk went much better this evening so I am considering that maybe I am not nuts and perhaps I can start a running program. Don't want to rush into this you know....

The true test is about to be the weekend. All those bad snacking habits...gotta stop them! See you tomorrow :)

Thursday, August 14, 2003

64oz of Water

That is what I got today for $2...a 64 oz mug. It is one of those huge old mugs that you see and wonder why anyone would ever need a mug that freaking huge. Now I know. I filled it with ice and water and drank it during the day. I can't claim I drank all of it since I had a 2 yr old that felt MY water was somehow better than HIS water. I still have a few hours left so I am planning to fill it again and see what I can do with it between now and then. I did drink some diet coke earlier today while I was running errands but other than that, all water today.

Following dinner, we did the walking route again. It was MUCH better to walk without the sun beating down on me. The trade off is the bugs that were divebombing me and the kids catching all the toads out on the road.

I made this a public blog so others could read it as well. I really appreciate the comments that have been left so far. It has all been helpful in keeping me focused and going forward. Here it is, still in the 90's here and I am already thinking about doing mall walking in the winter when it is too cold to take the babies out into the weather.

It is really tempting to step on the scale but I am withstanding it until Monday. Monday is my official weigh in day and by golly, I am going to stick with it.

Have a great evening and I will check in tomorrow...same ole, same ole.

Baby Stepping

Ha, I was reading over yesterday and wonder if I was in my right mind. Me, run in just nine weeks?? Am I nuts??!! Okay, let me back up and explain my sudden questioning.

Yesterday evening when I got home, I drove my proposed running route to get the milage. (I have a 2 mile and a +3 mile route that is handy). After dinner, we got the two kiddies in the stroller, made sure the others had on shoes and headed out to walk my 2 mile route. Three houses down, it began to rain and we cut out little jaunt short. Fastforward to this morning.

Greg and Nicholas were on their way to Nashville so I loaded up the two wee ones, made sure the others had shoes on and headed out to walk my 2 mile the the morning sun....with no water. We did the 2 miles but I think I wanted to die by the end. Did I mention my neighborhood has hills? I know they have hills but it is amazing how much BIGGER those hills become when you are pushing a double stroller, have 2 whining kids and you are sweating like the pig you are. I had planned to start my jogging program but I think I need to work on walking a bit first. On a positive note, my 9 year old was complaining more than I was.

And just to prove I am nuts, I am planning to walk this again later this evening...when the sun goes down and it is cooler. I looked over my old rollerblading route and I may encorporate that into my routine in the next few weeks as well, when it gets cooler out.

So my plan for the day is to cool down, drink loads of water, not eat those peanut butter M&M's in my cupboard (or the almond, mint or plain ones either....I like M&M's) and plan dinner. Last night, I was fixing plates for everyone (we had taco soup) and asked Greg how much he wanted. His reply was "Whatever you are having" I looked at him and said, "You want the portion that I get based on my meal plan over there?" He backtracked and said no. After dinner he asked if his portion was anywhere near what he COULD have on the plan and looked thoughtful when I said nope. He would like to lose weight for his class reunion in November. My reunion is in October but since I only went to school with those people one year and have not had contact with any of them in 20 years, it is not a real high priority for me.

Anyway, happy day...drink your water and if you are not actively working on changing your life, at least contemplate it and get a plan to start it.

Wednesday, August 13, 2003


Ugh, just typing the word makes me break into a sweat and long to sit in the air conditioning with a tall, cool glass of something to drink. Be that as it may, I am contemplating starting running. (Have you noticed I contemplate and plan a lot of things that haven't been implemented yet? Baby steps...I am getting there!)

One of the moms from another board I frequent (Hi Alexis!) is part of my support over there. She sent me a link to a cool site that helps us fat lumps get off the couch and out running. I, too, can be a runner in just 9 short weeks. Ha, you scoff! I did as well until I read the plan. I even was impressed enough to send it to my running husband (but he doesn't have a link to this page yet heh heh). If you have considered running but feel like it is just too much to go from couch to running, this is the article to read. Couch to 5K Is it just me or does saying "I went and did a 5K run this morning" sound more impressive than "Yep, did a 3 mile run this morning"

Since I am still in my baby step mode, this evening when I get home, I will break out the stroller and enlist everyone in the house for company. I am going to walk my proposed running route and then have Greg, the supportive dh, drive it so I can get a milage. I think I did this 2 years ago and it was about a 2 mile route.

Got my water, forgot my lunch but at least I am not snacking! Maybe I should map out a walking route and when Devin sleeps, take Kierynn out for a stroll around Vanderbilt. Hmm...I hope he will be home next week sometime and that will become a moot point.

Soy nuts...someone told me about chocolate covered soy nuts. Isn't that an oxymoron? :::grin:::: Can your tastebuds be that off?

Tuesday, August 12, 2003

The Rest of the Day

I have discovered another quirk regarding me and water. I like it really, really cold...already told you guys that. I also now know that I drink a lot more water if I have a straw. I don't know why it is but I have a hard time drinking a glass of water without a straw. I did manage to down 2 of the 32 oz gas station cups full of water today. Iain joined me in the water drinking quest and had water in his sippy cup...he didn't seem to mind much.

I told Greg today that I had bared my weight to the world in order to keep me on track. He expressed interest in doing something similar, at least on the losing weight end..not the baring his measurements to the world. He suggested WW so I am passing along some information to him that I have from people who have done WW. I am sticking with my plan over WW since I know it and I admit it...I am not inclined to learn a new system when I already know one.

Soo...tomorrow will be the test. I am spending the day in Nashville, stuck in a room where there is not a lot to do so snacking is a way to pass time. I am planning on packing my own lunch, bringing my own grapes to snack on and we will see how it goes. Hopefully I can remember to do it, I tend to forget things in the morning rush to get out of the house and on the road.

Water, Water

I am anticipating being waterlogged today. I know water drinking is part of the overall plan. I have a quirk about water, I want it in one step away from freezing cold. Since a little 2 year old woke me up earlier than I wanted, I got to run out childfree and got a bunch of water (I don't like tap water). We have a water cooler so I am planning to make use of it today.

I also am going to list the meal plan I am going to follow. I was kinda hesitant to do it because this was designed for me by a nutritionist and I would hate someone to attempt it and it not be good for them. So my stern advice is "Don't try this at home without consulting a doctor!"

This is based on a 2200 calorie meal plan although it can easily be modified into 2000. It was designed for a pregnant me so I think it will work for a nursing me.

Breakfast: 2 starch/bread, 1 fruit, 1 milk, 1 fat, free foods
Morning Snack: 1 milk, 1 starch
Lunch: 2 starch/bread, 3 meat, 2 vegetable, 1 fruit, 1 milk, 2 fat, free foods
Afternoon Snack: 2 fruit
Dinner: 2 starch/bread, 3 meat, 4 vegetable, 1 fruit, 1 milk, 2 fat, free foods
Evening Snack1 starch/bread, 1 fruit, 1 fat

It looks complicated but since I know this system it is not to me. I don't drink milk but for breakfast, 8 oz of plain yogurt mixed with 3/4 cup blueberries equals my milk and fruit. 2 starch/bread is one bagel (each half is 1) and my fat is butter on my bagel. I don't know but I think this is a decent sized breakfast with a nice variety. Free foods are those that contain less than 20 calories but that doesn't mean you can have a slice of a milky way bar as a free food :::grin:::

I like ramen noodles, I always have. I can still eat my ramen noodles at lunch. I add in some cheese and an egg and viola, there are 2 starches, 2 meats and 1 is not really that hard. My hardest part was getting all the veggies I need. When I got water this morning, I also got a bunch of baby carrots, artichokes and salad. Go me!

Others have inspiried me to list my weight...eeek!! My current weight is 216 lbs. This has been my current weight (not counting pregnancies) since Kaity was born in 1997. My goal is my pre-Nicholas weight of 175 lbs that I weighed in 1993. Now, I would actually love to go to 160 but I am afraid of setting myself up for failure if I make a goal that is so far away. I found a weight loss thermometer on a site that I am cleaning up and will put over on the left so people can (hopefully) watch the pounds melt away. I added my current stats over there already, what an eyeopener. I mean, I already knew I was fat (and no more "larger" "heavy" stuff...let's be honest here) but that is still sobering to see it in print for the world to see.

Now is the time for me to do my modified FlyLady stuff and then get some fun sewing done! Go drink your water, eat your carrots and check back in with me later in the day.

Monday, August 11, 2003

Diet is a Four Letter Word

And because it is, I don't like to use it. Diet to me equals failure. I don't want to diet, I need to change my entire way of eating and doing exercise. Diets are fads, changing your way of eating requires a commitment. I am willing to make that commitment.

I dug around and found my meal plan that I used while pregnant with Iain. Since I am nursing, it should work as well as it did while I was pregnant (although really, you should check with a doctor to make sure). It is 2200 calories and consists of 3 meals, 3 snacks per day. It has a HUGE listing of foods so I can see easily what is on the yes list vs the no list. Really, nothing much beyond sweet stuff was on the no list. Even then, you can have sweet just in moderation.

How do you like the new blog template? I spent several hours getting it to work right and as always, Graphic Garden came through with the perfect graphics. How more appropriate for this site than a pig, huh? The blank buttons will have text added and right now although one is linked, it goes nowhere but knock yourself out if you feel the need to click on it.

Okay, I am giving myself until the 18th to start. Why the 18th and not the 15th? For a few reasons. I decided that I am not going to obsess about my actual weight to begin with. I am planning to weigh myself each Monday (and forgot to today). That means I am clear until the 18th. I also am planning to take my measurements when I begin. I would rather actually see inches go and then pounds.

I am a material girl (in every sense of the word...fabric and I need rewards). I need to come up with something tangible yet nonedible to reward myself every so often. Suggestions are appreciated and solicited.

Come on, you know you want to join me on this necessary but evil quest!

Sunday, August 10, 2003

Tomorrow, Scarlett

Okay, so I am a Gone With the Wind fan, sue me. I am planning on starting this. I said I would do it on the first...which came and went. Now....tomorrow is another day.

Things are hectic and I am using that as an excuse to not start. That is bad but also good because I see that I am creating an excuse to use. This is a good thing, right? That I can see I am procrastinating? No? Oh, what do you know? is the deal, sports fans. I am blunt....fat. I didn't used to be fat but you know, several kids and years later, fathood has arrived with a vengence. The myth of breastfeeding causing you to lose weight is just that, a myth. I am not any heavier than I was prior to being pregnant (this time) but I am not any lighter. I need something to motivate me to get off my rear and WORK at losing the weight.

I saw a friend who lost 40 lbs and had published front, side and back pictures of herself at various points. If I can work up my nerve, I will do that. If not, I will draw stick figures.

My plan: eat better, then exercise. Hey, I have to do things slowly. As a side note, did you know it takes 21 days to make something a habit? That means I get a three week break learning to eat right before I have to add exercise to it as well.

Who wants to join me on the quest? Now is the time to stop giving that thin woman inside yourself french fries to shut her up.